fatherhood is sexy.  the way a man is with his daughter is the only thing i ever rate other than  if   a man and what man does not?   has a complicated  relationship to his mother i   watch and observe the ways that  he    overcomes that, as   narcissitic mothers come up so much in my world , the men that i am  attracted to as friends or lovers, almost never ever  have  

‘great mommies’ there is always some insane woman behind a high;y driven man screaming ‘your not good enough’  ,   for the record,   my daughter is too good,  she is more than good enough, and  her fathers tragedy has nothing whatsoever to do with hs overwhelming and  true   unconditional  love for her,  there are these ridiculous and venal notions that he did not take his own life, he did,  but little by little i see how he was pressured into it, how he was conditioned  by the culture he was   abandoned in to do it and im   frankly rather shocked that his  thorough and imparitial  biographer  spending 9 years on kurt didnt uncover what i did.  just that  krist and dave  and their retinue have been able with  tricky taxes and all sorts of  financial crazy to  cover it up for 19 years is grotesque. im not wrong ,  i wish i was.  this will not end well  for them  , public opinion is an ever changing thing ,  and when   people see facts presented rationally and coolly , their jaws are going to drop. in any  case if you ever  doubt your fathers love for you understand looking at this,  other things  took him away it was not that you could not keep him.,  you will always have him my little love,  this man only ever had eyes for you, he didnt give a shit about what anyone thought and from the day you were born there were enemy tanks at the door and i still dont understand it except that  rosemary the lawyer was abused  sexually and physically by  her mother to a great great great   length and she still cannot comprehend  success, she is one of the truly  most evil people alive on  this earth and she did not do the task set before her as a lawyer,  which started a chain  reatction and i wish i did not know so very very much of evil,  but i do, and  rather  than pass the toxicity onto you i woll do my  best to   create a nice   beauitful  glorious third act for you to  grace us all within,  you are a blessed  and   beuatiful soul  bean and   i know that there is a hole inside you tearing at you,  i  hope to god you will overcome this karma that has been handed you,  it is a destination,  something to  create from,   frankly  noone knew your father like i did,   and nooone has the authority to   speak of him , the conjecture is all   fucking amusing,  but its not a marriage and it has nothing to do with  who he loved and who he  most certainly did not and who  has betrayed him  the most for these 19  years hes been dead, i reckon a reckoning is due, and i hope you feel satisfied when it comes, im ususualy right about  these things timing wise. i hope so here, its too personal, it cannnot come from me, i see it all, but it has to be someone smart enoight ot understand, this idiot and his book mark yarm, i noted the only person who  stringently never lies about me or your father is jennifer finch, she always tells the truth,  very trustworthy. everyone else has some other agenda,  its almost retarded,  just ’ she set her sights on kurt’ uh so?    he set his sights on my fine ass, it was what we in the real world call,  actual proof. love and life,. sometimes when   a great and special child is ready to come the right two people are brought together to bring her here,  despite all the ‘controversy’  you are the kind and wonderful  genius that i know you  to be,   god gave you style  and gave you grace,   god put  a smile upon your face/   xxx m